After a week, supporting a woman, whose baby has been snatched into out of home care because a history of trauma makes it hard for her to feel and closing a few files of women, whose histories of trauma make it hard for them to trust anyone (including me), I thought I might reflect on the mixed messages our system sends to women experiencing domestic violence.
On the one hand, domestic violence costs the economy between $8 and 13 billion annually.
On the other hand, she could just leave. No one's holding a gun to her head (unless he is), but how often does that happen?
On the one hand, domestic violence is a crime. It is a criminal act to physically assault, threaten or intimidate someone.
On the other hand, 453 texts mainly just asking her to call with the occasional text stating 'If u don't call me, u know what I'll do to u.' doesn't really qualify as harassment.
On the one hand, family law legislation takes into account domestic violence.
On the other hand, just because a man is abusive to his partner does not preclude him from having a meaningful relationship with his children.
On the one hand, domestic violence is not her fault.
On the other hand, her choice to love an abusive man places her children at risk and that makes her a 'bad' mother.
On the one hand, there are several hundred thousand people turned away from homelessness services every day.
On the other hand, she could just leave, couldn't she? Even if her family has ostracised her (or he has made her think her family has ostracised her), even if her friends have rejected her (or he had made her think they have and/or caused them to)... she could just leave couldn't she? She could go to a homeless shelter, if worst came to worst...
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